


Thanksgiving For the Memories

by Sgt_Pepperony94



Series: To Rebuild [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drunk Wanda, Flashback, Multi, Pietro is alive in this, Thanksgiving, Tony is a moron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 12:19:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5290460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sgt_Pepperony94/pseuds/Sgt_Pepperony94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team tell Clint and Natasha about a Thanksgiving from five years ago where Pepper's mother meets the team for the first time, a critical culinary error is made, and Tony pushes Pepper too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Thanksgiving for the Memory  
> Author: Sgt. Pepperony  
> Fandom: Avengers (MCU)  
> Rating: K plus for drunkenness  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers, characters. Property of Marvel and Disney. Also I am not American nor from anywhere where Thanksgiving is celebrated. Most of this is what I have gotten from research and from American sitcoms. Thank god F.R.I.E.N.D.S is relentlessly repeated all the time.
> 
> So, as the disclaimer said: non-American writing a story about Thanksgiving. I do apologise if I miss out anything. This is basically the gang reminiscing Wanda and Pietro's first Thanksgiving. Details are in the summary so let's get cracking. Also I may blur the lines between past and present by doing the past in italics and the present in normal but with parentheses – these things: (). 
> 
> Also, apologies for the title; it's a very lame pun on the Fall Out Boy song 'Thnks fr the Mmrs (Thanks for the Memories)'. Like seriously… Sorry. Also I apologise for my sense of humour.

Chapter One

"I'm not going to be able to move off this couch," Clint commented. Pepper and Jane had cooked the Thanksgiving meal to end all Thanksgiving meals with the turkey and the trimmings plus some requested extras. Now he was lying on the couch with his head pillowed on Natasha's thigh, Tony was sitting on the floor in front of them while Jane was sitting on Thor's lap with Steve beside them and Pepper occupying the recliner. "That was the best Thanksgiving meal ever."

"I think you two might have killed us," said Tony.

"I'll take that as a thank you," Pepper responded.

"There you go, that is the thing I am thankful for."

"I'm thankful that after three years of research, I have my paper on dark matter published," Jane said.

"I am thankful that I have friends who are amazing cooks," added Thor.

"As usual I am thankful for pizza," said Clint.

"I'm just thankful that I can be with people I actually like for once," Natasha stated.

"You actually like Stark?" asked Bruce. Tony looked a little offended.

"He has his charms. I think it might be obvious what Rogers is thankful for."

"What that I have a wife and a baby on the way?" he asked. Wanda then decided to come in at that moment with two pies, one pumpkin, and the other pecan. "Sure I am completely thankful."

"I feel as though I have missed something," Wanda stated looking confused.

"We were just saying what we were thankful for and why do you have two pies?" asked Jane.

"I'm hungry."

"You just had a large meal."

"Yeah but I am pregnant with his kid," Wanda justified by pointing at Steve. "This baby absorbs about sixty-percent of what I eat."

"Are you going to eat both pies?" asked Thor looking tempted.

"I think I might stick to the pumpkin. You can have the pecan if you wish."

"Well, we definitely know it is a super solider baby," Tony commented.

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Steve.

"I'm just saying that both of your genetics are fighting it out to see whose abilities it inherited."

"He has got a point," Wanda added as she flopped beside Steve.

"If this is what is happening to Wanda with a super solider baby then lord knows what an Asgardian baby is going to be like," Jane thought. "I have to admit considering the last Thanksgiving I attended here I am surprised at how smoothly this year has gone."

"Why what happened the last time you were here?" asked Natasha.

"Let's see, Tony embarrassing himself in front of my mother, a trifle full of sage and onion stuffing, and Wanda's head ending up in the toilet was the climax," Pepper summarised.

"I think I am going to need more elaboration on this," said Clint just about managing to sit up and straighten out his hearing aids.

"Yeah, I do not remember my head being in the toilet," Wanda said.

"Yeah, there was a reason for that," Tony commented.

"I think I vaguely remember coming back on Black Friday to see a hungover Wanda," said Natasha. "Beyond that I cannot remember much."

"This is going to take a while to explain but it was the first Thanksgiving with the twins," Bruce began…

-o-

Five Years Earlier

 _"_ _Tony can you please leave your tinkering alone now? My mother is going to be here in an hour and it would be nice if you could keep her company while Jane and I do the food," Pepper sighed when she walked into the workshop finding Bruce and Tony working on what looked to be a new upgrade for JARVIS._

 _"_ _Pep, I will be up soon. I just need to finish this upgrade."_

 _"_ _How long is that going to take?"_

 _"_ _About as long as it will take to decide whether this voice recognition application is a good idea."_

 _"_ _It's a good idea. It will stop people from trying to hack JARVIS for information."_

 _"_ _The thing is that we are not sure how many people to include," Bruce interrupted._

 _"_ _You could always do it later."_

 _"_ _If you give us ten minutes. Why don't you introduce me last? Always save the best until last," Tony suggested._

_Pepper sighed, "Okay ten minutes. I need to get back to the turkey."_

_Once Pepper was gone, Bruce asked, "Have you met Pepper's mother before?"_

_"_ _Nope," Tony shook his head._

 _"_ _Are you scared?"_

 _"_ _The last time I met a girlfriend's parents, it went as well as Prince Harry going to a fancy dress party in that Nazi uniform."_

 _"_ _What did you do?"_

 _"_ _I really do not want to talk about it._ _As much as I am a genius, sometimes I do not think before I say things."_

 _"_ _That is a given."_

-o-

 _"_ _So what exactly is Thanksgiving? I mean what is its significance in American culture?" Wanda asked Jane when Jane was furiously mixing in the salt for the mash potatoes._

 _"_ _It celebrates the time when the Native Americans shared their food with the early settlers," Jane answered._

 _"_ _And then we repaid them by genociding them and shipping them off to the crappy real estate settlements," Darcy added while she was reading a magazine on the table._

 _"_ _I do not think that genociding is a word Darcy," said Wanda._

 _"_ _Genocide is not even a verb," added Jane._

 _"_ _Why are we talking about genocide?" Pietro asked coming into the kitchen._

 _"_ _I-" Wanda began to say before Darcy interrupted and walked up to Pietro._

 _"_ _Hi I am Darcy."_

 _"_ _Hi Darcy, I'm Pietro. Wanda's twin brother."_

 _"_ _So … I heard that you are like super-fast."_

 _"_ _Yeah … I am."_

 _"_ _Um, Darcy," Jane interrupted._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I think Wanda wanted to speak to her brother."_

 _"_ _It is fine Jane, I do not mind," Wanda insisted._

 _"_ _I just came in here because I was looking for something to do," Pietro explained. "Need any help with the cooking?"_

 _"_ _No, Pepper and I have everything under control," Jane answered._

 _"_ _How much food is there?" Pietro looked at the side with the stack on ingredients on the sides._

 _"_ _Potatoes three ways, turkey, brisket, yams, loads of vegetables and two pies for desert."_

 _"_ _Yeah, I have a feeling that most of it is going to be going into yours, Steve's and Thor's stomach," Darcy said._

 _"_ _Speaking of whom, Thor and Steve are watching the football game in the lounge if you are interested," Jane suggested._

 _"_ _I'll show him," Darcy declared leading Pietro to the elevator._

 _"_ _What was that about?" asked Wanda._

 _"_ _Darcy has a vagina and your brother is hot."_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_"_ _Do we have to watch football during this celebration of Thanksgiving?" asked Thor while he and Steve had their well-defined butts on the couch._

("Is well-defined butts really the way you want to go with this Jane?" asked Steve.

"Darcy's words, not mine.")

 _"_ _If it keeps us out the way of Pepper and Jane in the kitchen and Stark and Banner in the workshop, we have to watch something. The only movie that is on is_ The Wizard of Oz _and according to Stark that movie is only reserved for Christmas."_

 _"_ _Why would they put it on today then?"_

 _"_ _I have a feeling Stark may have been messing about with me when he said it."_

 _"_ _What else is new?"_

 _"_ _Hey, Pietro is looking for something to do," Darcy announced coming into the lounge. "Is there a chance he could watch the game with you?"_

 _"_ _If he wants to," Steve answered._

 _"_ _You are more than welcome to join us Pietro," Thor added._

 _"_ _Thanks, I'll just sit down," Pietro said sitting on the other couch._

 _"_ _Have fun," Darcy said leaving with a wink._

 _"_ _So, who is playing?"_

 _"_ _Bears and Lions," answered Steve._

 _"_ _Are they actual names of professional football teams?"_

 _"_ _Chicago and Detroit. Does that make you feel better?"_

 _"_ _A little bit. They sound less like something a nine year old would name their rock band."_

 _"_ _Who are we supporting to win?" asked Thor._

 _"_ _I have a ten dollar bet running with Stark that the Bears win," answered Steve._

_-o-_

_"_ _What is the score on the game?" asked Tony._

 _"_ _Bears are up," Bruce answered._

 _"_ _Damn it."_

 _"_ _Anyway, are we going to get this thing done so that we can get upstairs and join the party?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, just give us a moment or twenty."_

 _"_ _May I ask you something?"_

 _"_ _Knock yourself out."_

 _"_ _I know you are trying to avoid meeting Pepper's mother-"_

 _"_ _Well I can hardly avoid her seeing as I will have to eat with her in about three hours or so."_

 _"_ _Okay, you are delaying meeting Pepper's mother. So outside the fear of humiliating yourself in front of her mother, are you scared of meeting your girlfriend's mother?"_

 _"_ _Not scared. I just don't want to be bombarded with a load of questions and none of them can be answered by looking at my Wikipedia page."_

 _"_ _Of course you have a Wikipedia page."_

 _"_ _I think we all do. I took some time to do some editing on a couple."_

 _"_ _This is why I do not use Wikipedia."_

 _"_ _I don't think I am the reason you do not use Wikipedia."_

 _"_ _True. Why don't you use your Stark charm offensive? It usually works. Hell Pietro and you are friends."_

 _"_ _Road Runner and I are not exactly friends. We are just civil for Wanda's sake."_

 _"_ _Okay, fine. If you are just going to delay meeting your mother then you can finish this program yourself."_

 _"_ _Guys are you still down here?" Jane called._

 _"_ _I'll be up in a moment Jane," Bruce called back._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" she asked coming into the workshop._

 _"_ _Upgrading JARVIS so only those whose voice the system recognises can access him," Tony answered. "Want to help?"_

 _"_ _I can barely change the ringtone on my phone let alone work on a system like this."_

 _"_ _Fair enough."_

_Jane went to leave when she saw something in the corner, "What is that machine for?"_

_"_ _That was my attempt to scan the universe beyond the edge of the solar system to find new planets," Tony answered. "That was from my MIT years."_

 _"_ _So it is about nine-hundred years old," Bruce added._

 _"_ _It stopped working about two years after my parents died and I have not found the motivation to fix it. Also I kept getting told off because it was not accurate."_

 _"_ _Maybe I could help with placing the location of certain stars, constellations and planets if you want."_

 _"_ _Great, let's start fixing it."_

 _"_ _Tony –" Bruce began._

 _"_ _I'm sure JARVIS will alert me once the mother-in-law arrives."_

 _"_ _Fine whatever."_

 _"_ _To be honest I need to get back to helping Pepper with the dinner," said Jane._

 _"_ _It will probably take five minutes for me to fix."_

 _"_ _Okay. Five minutes won't hurt."_

-o-

_Pepper let out a really loud groan as she felt the frustration and stress of trying to prepare the meal on her own. Darcy had disappeared and Wanda was peeling potatoes for the roast potatoes._

_"_ _Are you okay?" asked Wanda._

 _"_ _Jane has gone AWOL so I am pretty much left to cook the turkey, the brisket, the potatoes and all the vegetables by myself and my mother is going to be here in about half an hour."_

 _"_ _Um, do you need me to help?"_

 _"_ _Can you do the brisket?"_

 _"_ _Sure. Once I am done with the potatoes but that will be five minutes." Pepper grabbed the bottle of wine from the side and poured a glass. "Should you really be drinking alcohol when you are cooking?"_

 _"_ _Nope but it is the only thing that will calm me down. Want some?"_

 _"_ _Go on then. Cannot say I am much of a drinker but it is a holiday."_

 _"_ _I'm not even sure how to cook a brisket. I just added it for variety."_

 _"_ _Ah, luckily I have a recipe memorized about making kosher brisket. You do have some garlic cloves right?"_

 _"_ _They should be in the fridge."_

 _"_ _Ms Potts, I have a woman telling me that she is your mother in the lobby. Do you want me to send her up?" JARVIS asked._

 _"_ _She's not supposed to be here for half an hour."_

 _"_ _I can keep an eye on the food if you want to meet your mother downstairs. You'll only be five minutes right?"_

 _"_ _Hopefully. JARVIS can you tell Tony that he needs to get his ass out the workshop now?"_

 _"_ _I certainly will."_

_-o-_

_"_ _Sir, the wind is in the east."_

 _"_ _What does that mean?" asked Jane._

 _"_ _Pepper's mother is here."_

 _"_ _I take it this means we have to go upstairs now."_

 _"_ _We might have five more minutes."_

 _"_ _Actually Ms Potts was insistent that you should come out of the workshop now."_

 _"_ _Well, I did say she could save the best for last."_

("As if I was not stressed enough," said Pepper.

"Who knew meeting the mother in law would inject fear into Stark," Natasha commented.

"I was not scared.")


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_"_ _Wanda this is my mother Lorraine," Pepper introduced her mother to Wanda who had just put the brisket in the oven. "Mom, this is Wanda. She is a friend."_

 _"_ _Nice to meet you Mrs Potts," Wanda held her hand out to shake the older woman's._

 _"_ _Funny I have yet to hear of you Wanda. You look very young," Mrs Potts commented. "Virginia are you sure that you did not adopt a child without telling me?"_

 _"_ _I would have told you if I adopted a child," Pepper responded. "Wanda and her twin brother Pietro moved to New York State under a year ago and they help out at the company that Tony sometimes helps at."_

 _"_ _Sometimes," Wanda added._

 _"_ _Well, we could always do with another person blowing up bad guys while making the tax payer pay for the damage."_

 _"_ _I-"_

 _"_ _Okay we need to let Wanda finish the potatoes," Pepper interrupted leading her mother out of the kitchen leaving Wanda confused. "Mom, can you not bring up anything to do with the Avengers? It's just that these are normal people who just want to spend Thanksgiving together. It's also the twins' first Thanksgiving so I want it to be as smooth as possible."_

 _"_ _She seemed pleasant enough."_

 _"_ _She's lovely. She just needs a supportive family network." Once in the lounge, Pepper stood in front of the men watching the screen. "Guys this is my mother. Mom this is Pietro – Wanda's brother – Thor and Steve."_

_Thor and Steve stood to shake Mrs Potts's hand while Pietro just waved as he was fixated on the screen._

_"_ _Nice to meet you Mrs Potts," said Steve._

 _"_ _Well, it is nice to know the younger generation have not lost any sense of curtsy." Pietro snorted a little causing Pepper to give him a stern glare. "Is something I said funny?""_

 _"_ _Nothing, I was laughing at one of the jokes the commentator just made," Pietro lied._

 _"_ _I see."_

 _"_ _That boyfriend of yours said he should be up in a moment. Though a moment to him is about half a century," said Bruce coming into the lounge._

 _"_ _Ah, Mom, that is Dr Banner. Bruce this is my mother Lorraine."_

 _"_ _Nice to meet you," Bruce offered his hand to shake._

 _"_ _Are you an M.D.?" asked Mrs Potts._

 _"_ _Everyone seems to think I am but I deal with gamma radiation mainly. Though I appear to be the only person who is qualified to admit first aid."_

 _"_ _Hence why everyone seems to think your degree is in medicine," Thor commented._

 _"_ _Yeah. That's why."_

 _"_ _Anyway, where is Tony, Jane and Darcy?" asked Pepper._

 _"_ _Tony decided to fix something he made at MIT and Jane is helping him. Darcy I have no idea where she is."_

 _"_ _I'm going to kill him," Pepper thought. "Boys, can you let my mother sit down, I just need to go to the bathroom."_

 _"_ _Sure," Pietro said putting his legs down so Mrs Potts could sit._

 _"_ _Stark you are so dead," Bruce thought._

-o-

 _"_ _Can you pass me the three quarter wrench?" Tony asked Jane from under his machine._

 _"_ _Where are the wrenches?" asked Jane looking in the tool boxes._

 _"_ _ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!" Tony jumped and hit his head off the bottom of the machine._

 _"_ _Ow you mother-"_

 _"_ _What the hell are you doing?" Pepper shouted coming into the workshop. Tony rolled from under the machine and sat up rubbing his head. "My mother is here and you are messing about with something that has not worked in twenty-five years?"_

 _"_ _Pep, I can explain," Tony held his hands up defensively._

 _"_ _It's my fault. I got curious about what this thing is," Jane explained._

 _"_ _Right, upstairs the pair of you now!"_

_Jane ran to the elevator. Tony got up still rubbing his head, "Pepper, I know you have been stressed about this meal-"_

_"_ _You are not exactly helping. My mom is upstairs watching football, probably waiting to ask when the hell we are going to get married."_

 _"_ _That is what you are stressed about?"_

 _"_ _My parents are one of those people who expect you to be married before you have a child."_

 _"_ _Well, you are not pregnant so I don't think we have to worry about that. You're not pregnant right?"_

 _"_ _No I am not."_

 _"_ _Well, at least it is not hormones," Tony thought. "Okay, just let me clean up and I will be up."_

 _"_ _Okay," Pepper said just standing with her arms folded._

 _"_ _Aren't you going back upstairs?"_

 _"_ _Wanda is keeping an eye on the food. I can wait for you to get cleaned up. I'm not taking any chances this time."_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_When Pepper left, it had left the lounge with a silence with no one sure about how to break it._

_"_ _So what does the quarterback do? I keep watching shows where the quarterback is the most important player," Pietro asked._

 _"_ _They lead the offensive, they grab the ball to allow the other players to score the points," Steve answered._

 _"_ _Which are the Bears?" asked Thor._

 _"_ _The ones in dark blue and orange."_

 _"_ _What is the purpose of the game?" asked Mrs Potts._

 _"_ _To score the most points by the end of the fourth quarter."_

 _"_ _Is this really a tradition on Thanksgiving just to watch men hit each other just to get a ball?" asked Pietro._

 _"_ _Apparently," Bruce answered._

 _"_ _Okay," Pepper sighed walking into the living room following by Tony. "Mom, this is Tony Stark, my partner. Tony this is my mother Lorraine."_

 _"_ _Ah, so this is the infamous Tony Stark," Mrs Potts stood._

 _"_ _Yeah…" Tony nervously offered his hand out to shake it. "It's nice to meet you Lorraine."_

 _"_ _Hmm, I'd say you picked a good one Virginia."_

 _"_ _I tend to agree," Tony said._

 _"_ _Okay, now that you have been introduced, I am going to check on the food," said Pepper._

 _"_ _Don't leave me," Tony thought hoping Pepper would have some sort of telepathy._

("That does not sound that awkward," Natasha commented.

"Trust us when we say it gets worse from here on in," Thor replied.)

-o-

 _"_ _Think of it this way, she wants to spend Thanksgiving with you," Jane said putting the potatoes on the roasting tin._

 _"_ _I know but now I have to deal with her for more than I want to."_

 _"_ _Yeah, that sounds like my mother. I can only deal with her for only a couple of hours."_

 _"_ _She seemed nice," Wanda inputted._

 _"_ _I'm just not prepared for the Spanish Inquisition on mine and Tony's relationship. When is Tony going to propose? When is the wedding? When are we going to have kids?"_

 _"_ _When is he going to propose?" asked Wanda._

 _"_ _Yeah, when is he going to propose?" asked Jane._

 _"_ _This is exactly what I am talking about."_

 _"_ _Don't worry about it. At least she does not sound like my best friend's mother who is constantly trying to set her up."_

 _"_ _Doesn't every woman in a relationship want to get married?" Wanda asked._

 _"_ _Not me. I prefer to just be in a relationship. Marriage complicates everything."_

 _"_ _Just ignore her, she's still getting over her parent's divorce," Darcy commented coming into the kitchen._

 _"_ _From when I was twelve?"_

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _"_ _Where the hell have you been?" asked Pepper._

 _"_ _Taking a nap. I thought it would pass some time."_

_Pepper sighed and left the kitchen with Darcy following her._

_"_ _Wanda, how many glasses of wine have you drunk?" asked Jane._

 _"_ _Two and a half?"_

 _"_ _Just slow down. We have two hours before dinner."_

 _"_ _It's just wine. It will not do me much damage."_

(What is so funny Stark?" asked Wanda

"You do not remember anything do you?"

"Vaguely."

"How could you not remember anything?" asked Clint.

"I've either repressed it or I was that drunk. I really hope it was the former.")

-o-

 _"_ _So did you begin your relationship before or after you promoted her to CEO?" Mrs Potts asked Tony._

 _"_ _I think I need a drink," Bruce murmured getting up and moving to the bar._

 _"_ _After. Before that it was strictly employer-employee with boundaries. I always maintain personal boundaries."_

 _"_ _Who's boundaries?" Steve mimed to Thor. Thor shrugged in response._

 _"_ _Well, I do admire that in men. A lot men do not seem to get boundaries exist," Mrs Potts said._

_Tony really did not know how to respond. All thoughts just kept going through his head, "Talk about how much a value Pepper is to the company... Ask where she got the jacket from… Say her earrings look nice."_

_Unfortunately, all the memories of him messing up with his last serious girlfriend came back and then he blurted out, "It's nice to know that not everyone walks around in their bra singing Beyoncé songs at the top of their lungs."_

_There was a loud audible slap as Bruce face-palmed hard, Thor and Steve's eyebrows widened in shock and Pietro tried to hold in a laugh._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

_By the time dinner was ready, Tony had sworn himself to silence to avoid embarrassing himself further. Mrs Potts seemed to see the funny side but he kept kicking himself internally for repeating what he said to another mother of a serious relationship._

_"_ _Are you sure that is enough turkey for all of us?" asked Mrs Potts when Pepper put the turkey on the dining room table._

 _"_ _It is fine, Jane, Wanda and Pietro are having the brisket," Pepper explained._

 _"_ _We're Jewish," Pietro added._

 _"_ _I thought you could not eat pork."_

 _"_ _We can eat turkey. It's just that Pepper used butter under the skin and there is a dietary law about milk and meat," Jane explained. "Basically we're not allowed to eat meat feast pizzas."_

 _"_ _Tony do you want to carve?" Pepper offered the carving knife to Tony._

 _"_ _Sure," Tony said apprehensively._

 _"_ _Tony are you okay?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, probably just wondering what Beyoncé's next single is going to be," Bruce commented causing Steve to snort into his water and Tony to glare._

 _"_ _Huh?" asked Darcy._

 _"_ _It's nothing," Tony stated taking the knife._

 _"_ _Stark said a dumb thing to Mrs Potts," Thor explained._

 _"_ _Alright, comedy is over."_

 _"_ _You do have to see the funny side of it," Steve said._

 _"_ _I am so confused," Wanda slurred a little._

 _"_ _You need to slow down," Pietro whispered._

 _"_ _What are you my brother?"_

 _"_ _Okay, that is enough," Pepper said taking the wine from Wanda._

 _"_ _Hey."_

 _"_ _It's fine Anthony, you are not the first of Virginia's boyfriends to say something stupid in front of me," Mrs Potts explained._

 _"_ _Oh god, what did you say?" asked Pepper preparing for the worst._

 _"_ _Can I answer that?" asked Pietro eagerly. Tony pointed the knife at him warningly._

 _"_ _Are we actually going to eat?" asked Thor._

 _"_ _Yeah, let's just drop this whole Beyoncé thing and eat," Steve said not wanting to humiliate Tony further._

 _"_ _Tony, what did you say to my mother that involved Beyoncé?"_

 _"_ _Did you say that Pepper's ass has nothing on Beyoncé's? I am inclined to disagree," Darcy inputted._

 _"_ _Ignore her," said Jane. In the meantime, Wanda had started humming 'Baby Got Back' causing Mrs Potts, Tony, Pepper and Pietro to look at her._

 _"_ _Oh god she is completely smashed," Bruce thought_

 _"_ _Wanda, are you okay?" asked Steve out of concern._

 _"_ _I'm fine baby – Steve," Wanda answered with slight raise of her eyebrows._

 _"_ _How much has she drank?" asked Thor._

 _"_ _I told her to slow down about an hour ago, but this must be the sixth glass," Jane answered._

 _"_ _Okay, I said to your mother that it's nice to know that not everyone walks around in their bra singing Beyoncé songs at the top of their lungs," Tony finally explained._

 _"_ _Is that it?" asked Pepper. "Well it is not so bad though I do wonder what your thought process was before coming up with that."_

 _"_ _Clearly there was none," Bruce murmured._

 _"_ _Can we carve this damn turkey now? I'm starving," Darcy said._

 _"_ _What she said," Thor pointed._

 _"_ _Okay, I will now carve this turkey." All of a sudden the lights went out. "Oh what now!"_

-o-

 _"_ _It might be the program I tried to upload caused a power surge," Tony explained coming back into the dining room where everyone had started eating. Wanda on the other hand seemed to be more interested in poking the meat. "Wanda, you might want to eat the brisket."_

 _"_ _I will, I just got to figure out how to eat it."_

 _"_ _Has she ever been drunk before?" Mrs Potts asked Steve._

 _"_ _I don't think so."_

 _"_ _Explains a lot."_

("I am trying to understand how Stark saying something without thinking to your mother-in-law is more humiliating in comparison to Wanda getting completely hammered," said Clint.

"Oh trust me, it gets worse," said Bruce.

"Why did no one think to take the wine away from me?" asked Wanda.

"We did, you just kept grabbing it back ninja style like Tony back in that trip to Vegas," Pepper explained.

"I don't think she needs any elaboration," Tony murmured.

"I was there," said Wanda.)

 _"_ _Okay, I am going to get the desert," said Jane getting up._

 _"_ _What is for desert?" asked Darcy._

 _"_ _Trifle," answered Steve. "I think."_

 _"_ _It is a trifle. Wanda made it," answered Pepper. Wanda beamed proudly._

 _"_ _I'm worried," Bruce whispered to Thor._

 _"_ _I am sure it will be fine," Thor responded. Five minutes later, Jane had brought down the trifle with a very worried look on her face. "You might have a right to be worried."_

_The trifle had a layer of sponge, jam, custard, sage and onion stuffing, custard again, bananas and whipped cream._

_"_ _I need to go to the bathroom," said Bruce._

 _"_ _As do I," Thor stated as the both got up and walked out of the dining room._

 _"_ _Okay we might have to just eat it."_

 _"_ _Do we?"_

 _"_ _She looked so proud of what she did, I don't want to wreck it for her. Plus she is that drunk I don't know how erratic her emotions are."_

 _"_ _How are you going to tell the others?"_

_Bruce fiddled into his pockets only pulling out his phone and earphones, "I think I might have an idea. Just follow my lead." Bruce walked into the dining room and approached Wanda. "Hey Wanda, I have a song that I think you like. Fancy a listen?"_

_"_ _Sure," Wanda hiccupped._

 _"_ _You have to promise that you have to keep listening for the whole song. You cannot take the earphones out." Wanda nodded and Bruce placed the earphones in her ears while everyone looked confused. Once Bruce pressed play and turned the volume up, he knew he had four and a half minutes to explain the situation. "Okay, I know that it does not look appetizing, but we are going to have to eat the trifle."_

 _"_ _Are you serious?" asked Darcy._

 _"_ _She's drunk, she probably thought the stuffing mix was to make more sponge."_

 _"_ _Plus she looked very proud of her desert," Thor added._

 _"_ _Exactly, can we just fake that we enjoy this or be at risk of a potential mess of a human."_

 _"_ _Considering how pissed she is, I don't think she is going to remember it," Tony commented._

("The funny thing is, you were absolutely right," Wanda told Tony with an ashamed look on her face. "I have no recollection of this at all."

"Six large glasses of wine will do that," Pepper commented.

"At least someone liked it," Jane said looking at Thor.)

 _"_ _It might not be that bad," said Steve looking a little hopeful._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

_"_ _I have a theory that Asgardians must have a different sense of taste to humans. That can explain why Thor had three helpings of that desert," Steve told Bruce and Darcy while they were watching the parade from the balcony._

 _"_ _He could have just been overly polite," Bruce said._

 _"_ _No, I've seen him dip Pop Tarts® into English mustard," said Darcy. "He liked the trifle."_

 _"_ _Fair enough."_

_Inside, Tony was trying to fix power from inside the workshop meaning that he was not upstairs where he should be, which had caused Pepper to snap._

_"_ _Tony, I know the power needs fixing, but can you come upstairs and spend some time with my mother."_

 _"_ _I'm nearly done. Just give me ten minutes."_

 _"_ _No, I will not. You are going to get your butt upstairs sit on the couch and talk to my mother now!" Tony sighed and grumbled. "You know you could act less like a child and actually like someone who wants to be in a serious relationship."_

 _"_ _I am in a serious relationship. I live with you, I love you. Is that enough?" Pepper scowled at his comment walked passed him and back to the elevator. "Pep, honey!"_

_Trying to compose herself, once she got to the lounge she walked over to the bar._

_"_ _Virginia, are you okay?" asked Mrs Potts._

 _"_ _I'm fine mom. Honestly."_

 _"_ _I think you might be expecting too much of Tony Stark. He does not seem the marriage type. Some people are more happy being significant others than being married. Marriage does complicate things a little and nowadays marriage is less the norm."_

 _"_ _Perhaps you are right Mom. I'm just really angry at him. He knew today was important but he would rather just tinker with his machines."_

 _"_ _He's a man. I think men would rather distract themselves than face reality."_

 _"_ _It's not really much of an excuse Mom."_

 _"_ _When you two are alone, talk it out. For now, I do not mind staying in a hotel."_

 _"_ _Mom don't be-"_

 _"_ _I insist. I think all your rooms will be full anyway."_

-o-

 _"_ _Has anyone seen my sister?" asked Pietro coming onto the balcony._

 _"_ _I have not seen here since dinner," answered Bruce. Steve shook his head._

 _"_ _Me neither," answered Darcy._

 _"_ _Have you tried her bedroom?" asked Steve._

 _"_ _Yes she is not there."_

 _"_ _Okay, I will come and help you look for her," said Bruce._

 _"_ _I will as well," said Darcy._

 _"_ _I'll have a look for her out here," Steve stated as the other three went back inside. "Wanda?"_

 _"_ _Yes?" someone called back._

 _"_ _Where are you?"_

 _"_ _I'm right here," she said popping up from behind the plant pot. "I'm playing hide and seek with Pietro."_

 _"_ _Does he know you are playing hide and seek?" he asked as she stumbled over to him. She shook her head with a smile on her face. "I think we might need to get you to bed."_

 _"_ _I'm not sleepy though."_

 _"_ _No but you are very drunk. Though props to you, you have managed to outdrink my friend Bucky on the first go and still remain conscious."_

 _"_ _Your arms are huge. They are like the size of a new born baby."_

("When your kid is born, can we hold it up to Roger's bicep to compare?" asked Clint.

"What to make a betting pool out of that?" asked Natasha.

Wanda meanwhile looked more and more mortified as the Steve continued the story, especially as she had just started to remember what was coming next.)

 _"_ _Yeah, I guess they are."_

 _"_ _Your eyes have a bit of green in them."_

 _"_ _Um, okay. At least your vision is not impaired."_

 _"_ _And your lips look so plump and pink. I think I might have to…" Wanda leaned up to kiss him but he pulled back. "Don't you want to kiss me?"_

 _"_ _You are just really drunk and I do not want to take advantage of you."_

 _"_ _But…" Wanda then felt her stomach in her throat and ran to the plant pot to throw up. Steve ran over to her and pulled her hair back._

 _"_ _Hey did you find her?" asked Darcy only to be confronted with the sight of Wanda throwing up and Steve holding her hair back. "Found her."_

("Why did you ever marry me after that?" Wanda asked once Steve had finished.

"I could looked past the drunken come on and vomiting. You would not be like that every day.")

-o-

_Once he had got the power back up, Tony went to the elevator only to find Pietro holding a semi-conscious Wanda up._

_"_ _Wow."_

 _"_ _Can you help get her to bed?"_

 _"_ _Yeah sure. What happened?" he asked getting into the lift._

 _"_ _She threw up in the plant pot," Pietro answered trying not to drop Wanda._

 _"_ _You're a jerk with a stupid beard," Wanda slurred._

 _"_ _I think she might be talking to you."_

 _"_ _That woman loves you to the end of the earth and wants to marry you but you won't ask her."_

 _"_ _Hey it's not as though I do not want to," Tony responded._

 _"_ _They why don't you?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, why don't you?" asked Pietro._

 _"_ _Look, can we get her down to her floor and to the bathroom before she throws up again. She looks green."_

-o-

 _"_ _How is she?" asked Pepper when Tony sat on the bed. She did not even look up from the book she was reading._

 _"_ _Stopped throwing up but she fell asleep on the bathroom floor so Speedy and I put her to bed. He's watching her in case she almost chokes on her vomit. Tomorrow is going to be interesting. First hangover and all."_

 _"_ _Well, my mother made it back to the hotel alright. I did offer her a room to stay but she declined for obvious reasons."_

 _"_ _I did apologise."_

 _"_ _Well, she does not hate you. She at least understands that men can get nervous around their girlfriend's parents."_

 _"_ _That is a relief I suppose. Though I do think I have pissed you off today."_

 _"_ _I'm not pissed off."_

 _"_ _Bump on the head says otherwise."_

_Pepper slammed her book shut and looked directly at Tony, "I am frustrated. I love you Tony but you do not make it easy sometimes. You know how much today was important and you decided to mess about in the workshop."_

_"_ _Are you sure that is the reason why you are frustrated? Wanda said there may be something else bothering you."_

 _"_ _Yes that is the only reason."_

 _"_ _Sorry."_

 _"_ _Sorry is not enough!"_

_Tony was dumbfounded. All he could do was walk over to his sock draw and pull out a velvet box. "What are you doing?"_

_"_ _I have been trying to figure out the best way to do this. I was going to do it either Christmas or your birthday. Take you out to a fancy restaurant. I was going to do a great big speech and get the owners to play something corny like Make You Feel My Love in the background. At the end of the speech I was going to ask you to marry me. Hopefully you would say yes," Tony explained sitting on his knees in front of Pepper._

 _"_ _What was the speech?"_

 _"_ _Um… it's only a first draft but… I would have said how lucky I was falling in love with my best friend; that take you for granted a lot of the time – well all the time - and that is really all I had at that point."_

 _"_ _Okay, I sort of forgive you."_

 _"_ _The thing is, right here right now, all that does not matter. It does not really matter where or when I said it – even though I should have done it a lot sooner – all that really mattered was that you make me happy, when I never thought I could be happy in a committed relationship. You make me happier than I thought I could ever be." Pepper put her hand over her mouth trying to hold back the tears. Tony opened the box to reveal an infinity twisted embedded with emeralds. "Virginia Potts, will you marry me?"_

 _"_ _Yes." Tony smiled and put the ring on her ring finger. Pepper cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. "By the way you cannot just propose every time you mess up."_

 _"_ _Does this mean I have to close the tab I have a Tiffany's?"_

-o-

As the story was finished, Thor, Clint and Wanda had fallen asleep and everyone else but Tony and Pepper had gone out to watch the parade. They were at the bar getting some drinks for everyone and Pepper had been looking at her engagement ring.

"You know we haven't set a date for the wedding," Pepper stated.

"Wait we actually have to go through with this ceremony?" asked Tony. Pepper raised her eyebrow. "Okay, just kidding. Well, you've got some ideas on what the colour scheme, what sort of theme and where you want the wedding to be."

"We've got some ideas."

" _You've_ got some ideas."

"Well, why don't you come up with a date?"

"Okay, next September. 21st."

"Good month. Not too hot, not too cold." The couple chinked there glasses together in agreement.

"Now about this pink and cream colour scheme-"

"We're keeping the colour scheme."

The End


End file.
